My Sister

I wanted to wait until I was home in Langley to write about my Christmas holiday. I had a good time, but stuff with my sister has been hard. It's been months of agony for my parents and family near home. One night in October, Rachel (my sister) had snuck out, walked a mile or two, and met some guy she met on the internet to have sex. My parents found out through some notes she had written to a friend that were in her pocket. That was the first of the struggles. We have all been eager to put the past behind us, repent, forgive and move on. Rachel had been doing a good job of rebuilding trust in our family, but the holiday has shown that her heart has not changed.

The last phone bill showed that my sister had been calling a guy in Edmonton. Only in the Edler house do phone bills lead to prayer meetings. We gathered around my sister to pray for her. Every few days there is another temper tantrum, or set of lies that have become transparent that all lead to big discussions at home. Rachel is using her cellphone to sex-text (textmessage sex talk) two guys.

Just one example of the many battles we have had:
My dad took her cellphone away Wednesday night so she could sleep instead of text all night. Thursday she hid the phone. I decided that I was going to stay awake all night until we found the phone. She finally gave in and gave my dad the phone and started scream "YOU DON'T TRUST ME." I have never been more angry in my life. I threw her down to the bed and screamed at her through my tears "WE DON'T TRUST YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT TRUSTWORTHY" (if you knew my sister, you would be surprised, she is much stronger than I am). She started screaming and yelling that she was going to leave, but I held her down. She was begging my mom to kick her out of the house.

By that time my mom was in tears and saying "I don't even know what to do." We phoned an elder from our church, John, who is also a neighbour, Special Constable in the RCMP, and a friend. After long talks, some conclusions were made... my parents have to do what is right for their daughter (such as take the cellphone away until the Holy Spirit tells my dad it is time to give it back, phone the school to make sure Rachel does not have internet access). And Rachel can leave anytime she wants when she is legally an adult (For Rachel that means March 11 - her eighteenth birthday).

That night I slept in Rachel's room as 'gatekeeper' so she wouldn't run. I didn't sleep. I had visions of demons introducing themselves to me. I felt like at any moment Rachel was going to attack me. Rachel told my mom the next morning that she had seen a dark figure before her eyes got used to the dark. The whole time I was home, I could feel the spiritual battle in my house in a way that I have never felt before. I had nightmares of lots of dark things when I was home. Rachel told me, "There are voices in my head that tell me you don't love me."

Rachel, in her most lucid moments admits to a lot, like "I haven't been happy since I had sex with that guy. I am sad all the time. I don't like that everyone treats me different." But there are other times that you can literally see her eyes go murky and her lip turns pouty, she will lie, she will manipulate you, and will also have tantrums like a child.

Darkness has surrounded her whole life. As a baby, her mother almost killed her, and then ended up in jail, where she had my other adopted brother, Daniel. When we first adopted Rachel at two years old, she would scream and crawl the walls in her nightmares. My parents have prayed over her life many sleepless nights. After a happy childhood in my family, she is now at the time when she will decide the road she will travel.

It was not a mistake that we got Rachel (and Dan for that matter), and it is not a mistake that she got us. It is a rough chapter, but I don't know the end of this. The light has already conquered the darkness. And God is still good. I see it in the laughter of my brothers with some stupid joke they have made. I see it with our cattle in Alberta and the prairie that stretches forever and the space to breathe. I see it in the rain in Langley and the joy of coming back to Trinity for my last semester. And I thank God that I can come home to Langley and finally sleep without nightmares. Pray for my family.