Yesterday I got my orientation to the unit I will be working on at least for the next two months. I have to admit that yesterday was a depressing day.
I am just in the middle of learning what all the teens on my unit have been through, and it's not pretty. (abuse, multiple foster homes, etc.) And leads to lots of problems. At least one girl on the unit is a cutter, some have suicidal ideations. One girl likes to sit and mutter (things like "Don't hurt me!" "F___ You!" "I'm scared" "I'm gay.") We sat together and colored pictures of the Little Mermaid, and I think she actually made eye contact with me twice. One girl taught me some hip hop dance moves, which made me laugh, and I think I am helping her with homework tonight.
Then I went home and chatted with my roomates, and ended up watching about half of "The Color Purple." (it was the most depressing movie I have ever seen - we had to turn it off). It's basically about this black woman who is abused every way possible by her husband her whole life.
Life is ugly. I think we all know this in some way. And it had never been more real to me than yesterday. I have a tendency to be like "God where are you? Why didn't you stop this from happening?"
I was praying last night for Joy and Endurance. (two things that I am going to need) Because these sad stories are not the end. God knows what each of these teens have been through in intimate detail. And he cares for each one more than I could ever know. And God is shown to the world through those who love Him. I am Christ's light shining in a dark place. I am excited and scared for the months ahead, but I know that I am growing in His light.
2 comments:
"The world living in darkness shall see a great light". Mel - I just wanted to tell you how proud of you I am. You are entering a world that is full of darkness. The world is an ugly place...many people cannot look past its ugliness. There is too much pain, too much despair. You will hear stories that will break your heart, make you cry, make you ask God "WHY?!". However, I KNOW that you are committed to hope. To Truth. Do not be overcome by the darkness of this world. Put on the armour of God EACH day. Keep asking God your questions. The world isn't always peaches and cream...there is injustice. But there is also goodness. There is also love. There is joy and there is peace. My prayer is that God will equip you and will give you the eyes to see beyond the issues...to see the heart. Even if it isn't always 'apparent', I know that your presence there will make a difference. You are committed to Christ and you refuse to let the darkness win. Remember, the greater the challenge the greater the reward. I will be praying for peace and for joy. I will also pray for sensitivity and that, when you feel so overwhelmed by the things you are faced with, that you will find rest in the shadow of HIS wings and will lay their burdens at His feet. I love you lots dear friend...
Hey Mel,
Hope to see you Sunday so we can catch up!
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